This quote by St. Augustine brought to mind the idiom “The grass is always greener on the other side.” This idiom reminds us that what is beyond our view is not necessarily better than what we currently have. The grass might indeed be greener on the other side of a hill. It could just as easily be dry, browned, and prickly. Or there may be no grass at all. Both the quote and idiom captures: (1) the discontent many people have with the things they are familiar with, and (2) the longing and hope we often have that we can escape those things by crossing a horizon of some kind.
It is not uncommon for people to think their life, their family, where they live, where they work… is somehow inferior to other options. I am confident we have all heard and expressed sentiments such as: “There is not enough to do here,” “This town is too small,” “My brother is impossible,” “My boss is a jerk,” and so on. As I’ve shared before, I struggled with living in the Deep South and moving away was a good change for me. There are times we may indeed be unhappy enough with our circumstances that some change is the appropriate step. That change may indeed be part of a migration toward a happier self amid “greener grass,” or even an entirely different flora and environment.
However, there are also times when our longing for some “greener grass” is about the gap between our levels of knowledge between that which we have and that which we dream about. We know our own lives, locations, workplaces, churches, etc. far better than we know any others. That intimate knowledge runs the full gamut from positive to negative qualities and all things between. We’re well aware of all the problems and shortcomings of the things we’re part of because our knowledge is full and well-rounded. The same cannot be said of the things we view from a distance and are not part of.
For example, from time-to-time I fantasize about moving to Lithuania. The inspiration comes from a number of frustrations about our own country, combined with a passion for this part of my ancestry. I know the U.S. well, but the same cannot be said of Lithuania. I am utterly ignorant of what it feels like to live in a place so deeply impacted by the Nazis, the Shoah, and the Soviets. And my vision of the country is also obscured by romanticized ideas I hold about my identity and Lithuanian history and culture. In reality, both the U.S. and Lithuania have great things about them, and both have their struggles and problems. If I were to migrate I would not be losing any frustrations but simply exchanging them for a different set.
Similarly, social media may make it seem as though someone else’s life is more together and happier than our own. But social media is a sanitized version of that person’s life that reveals only that which they wanted to. We all have our share of joys and challenges. Regarding earning a living, companies, employers, and job recruiters will do their best to make their workplace seem like an employment wonderland. But I expect that we would find any place of employment has its share of pros and cons. In short, while we have a deep knowledge that comes from lived experience about our own lives and location, we lack that about the lives of other people and places.
So to return to the quote from Augustine, the mountains, oceans, and rivers may very well be wondrous in others places. Our lives may be better for having experienced the vistas of other places. But we should not keep our gaze focused upon the longing of things we are not part of. There are wondrous, beautiful, and positive aspects within all the things we are part of right now. They are certainly more familiar to us. And we may take them for granted because they are always there. But we should not let that keep us from getting curious about the things we already have. Our grass may already be plenty green if we just pay attention to it.
Minister Joel