Category: Articles

Front Page Articles from the Unigram

The Trouble with Christmas

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
I have trouble with Christmas. There. I’ve spoken what’s true for me, knowing that it’s not at all culturally fashionable to have trouble with Christmas. It’s a little like saying you don’t like puppies or chocolate, both of which, incidentally, I do like. But there it is. In the first place, I don’t have very good memories of childhood Christmases. Often, it was a more-than-usually tempestuous time in an already-stormy life. And with childhood innocence and naivete, I always thought this Christmas would be better. Until it wasn’t. Fast-forward to adulthood. The Jesus story simply isn’t my story in the same way it is for Christians. Just as Muhammad’s story isn’t my story in the same way it is for Muslims. And I can’t get into the cultural excesses of the season. It feels like the whole culture is having a party and I wasn’t invited. The profit-driven commercialization of it all saddens me. That stores have Christmas decorations and merchandise out before Halloween strikes me as ludicrous. In the face of all that, I’d figured out what worked for me—minimalism, focusing on Solstice, the interplay of darkness and light, growth resting, a few carefully-selected Christmas concerts, and the quiet of land blanketed by fresh snowfall. Spending Christmas with my daughter and her family. Then, I met and married Tom. My husband comes from a big family and a long tradition of over-the-top Christmas decorating and activity. As we blended our traditions, we have maintained that to a significant extent. To my minimalist eyes
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“We [Can] Believe Her” and Ourselves

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
Rev. Seth recently alluded to there being only 5% of sexual assault survivors’ memories later proven to be false. I want to highlight some of the scientific research into traumatic memory that supports this. The question of the reliability of survivors’ memories has come to national attention with high-profile cases. Many, perhaps most, survivors have faced similar questions, if not from others, then within our own minds. In response to a question, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford said she is 100% certain” that it was indeed Brett Kavanaugh who assaulted her. The context of the discussion was that some people acknowledged that she might have indeed been assaulted but she was mistaken about the identity of her attacker. This allegation escalated when two men came forward to say that it was really they, rather than Kavanaugh, who had been the perpetrators. My response to this part of the story is twofold: I can assure you from experience that the face of our attacker is burned into our brain cells. If we were able to see the attacker’s face, that face will not be forgotten. We just know. Second, it is an amazing confirmation of just how far the patriarchy and the “old boys” network will go to protect one of their own. Taking one for the team? Really? Senator Amy Klobuchar (D—Minnesota) pointed out that many people were putting the focus on what Dr. Ford could not remember about that horrifying night. The senator stated the she was more interested in what Dr. Ford
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A Tale of Two People

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
A 30-year-old man fell from a ladder while he was cleaning out the rain gutters on his two-story house. He tore several ligaments, was bruised up, and had x-ray results that were inconclusive. He was in a great deal of pain, having trouble walking, and later went to a hospital emergency department as a precaution. The emergency physician went over the x-rays with him and explained the evidence for various hypotheses about what his injuries were. Medical personnel assumed he had fallen because he was on a ladder and lost his footing. Period. There was no mention whatsoever of his age. He was hospitalized a couple of days as a precaution. His pain was reasonably well-controlled by medication, and he was given medication to help him sleep. Two days later, when the discharge planner was getting things in order so that he could be released from the hospital, they asked him for his ideas about what arrangements he needed for going home. He left the hospital with a referral to a physical therapist at his own discretion. There was no discussion of nursing home placement. An older woman fell while hurrying across a gravel parking lot. She tore several ligaments, was bruised up, and had x-ray results that were inconclusive. She was in a great deal of pain, having trouble walking, and later went to a hospital emergency department as a precaution. She was admitted for a couple of days “because she wouldn’t be able to care for herself.” Age was
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Just Don’t Do It!

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
We’re all-too-familiar with the Nike slogan, “Just do it!” Get out there and DO something. Reverend Seth’s sermon on August 19th, “Controlled by the Clock,” touched off reflections for me that might well be summarized with the slogan “Just Don’t Do It!” In the interest of full disclosure, I function best when I have a fair amount of structure in my life, and this often leads me to make a to-do list. Then the list takes on a life of its own and can generate feelings of “I have to get these things done. And I don’t have time to get them all done!” On the other hand, I also cherish my unstructured time. Especially as I’ve matured, become more comfortable with myself, and learned better how to manage life with chronic pain, “down time” has taken on greater importance for me. I realize how fortunate I am. Not everyone has the privilege of having as much flexibility with their time as I do. We’re all at somewhat different stages in our lives. The days our grandchildren stay with us remind me that those with children have far less control over their time than I do. Caregivers may have to struggle to find even a few hours. Many people are financially unable to retire, or even semi-retire. Farmers, especially those who have livestock, can’t easily take a day off; cows and pigs must eat and be watered, and the barn be mucked out! Other factors are even more complex. Our culture equates busyness
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What I Have Learned from the Waters

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
August typically brings the Water Ceremony to our church calendar. This year the ceremony moves to September 9th. Over time, it’s undergone changes, but it remains as an important symbol of the connections we cherish as a congregation. It also symbolizes our diversity. Water has always symbolized connection for me. My understanding is that all water is, in the final analysis, connected. The oceans are not locked away from each other but join in one great expanse of ocean that goes by different names in different areas. Rivers flow into bigger rivers, and those into bigger rivers yet, the water from the smallest brook finally making its way to some sea. And it’s all joined in the cycle of evaporating water that returns to the earth as rain and snow. Then there’s the connection with our own bodies: We begin life floating in the waters of the amniotic sac. Something like 70% of us is water, and the saltiness of the oceans echoes in the saltiness of our life’s blood, in our tears of sorrow and of joy. All living beings must have water, or we will die as all our life processes shut down, unable to continue. I’ve liked being around water for as long as I can remember, especially ocean waves and inland waterfalls. I used to live by a river, and I still miss its many moods. A shallow stream in summer’s drought, a cracking crystal river of ice in the winter, dark with fallen leaves in
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Looking Back, Moving Forward

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
I often recap previous Unigram columns in my July column, a “church year in review” kind of thing. This isn’t quite the usual month-by-month recap. This time, I’ve woven together excerpts from three previous columns that seem to me to be especially relevant as we reflect on the church year that is ending and look forward to the growth and challenges of the coming year. We can all learn to be more present for each other and with ourselves, to “hold space.”  One author describes holding space this way: “It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.” In short, it’s being present, fully, unconditionally present, without judgment and without trying to fix the person or situation. When we offer this gift to each other, we can feel safe and supported even when we make what we see as mistakes, especially when we make mistakes. We need the kind of safety that allows us to risk making mistakes. Sometimes, perhaps often, the person for whom we are holding space will make a decision we would not make, and that’s OK too. Others’ decisions aren’t ours to dictate or control. We can hold space for others only if we are able to give ourselves the same gift. We cannot
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Blessing and Blessings

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
ACHOO!! The sudden sneeze startled everyone, perhaps none more than the one who sneezed. “Bless you!” “Gesundheit!” “God bless you!” several of those within hearing distance responded. Did they think about what that predictable phrase meant? I doubt it. Blessing someone who sneezes originated in folk belief. Some people believed that a sneeze caused the soul to escape the body through the nose. Saying "bless you" would stop the devil from claiming the person's disembodied soul. Others believed the opposite: that evil spirits could use the sneeze as an opportunity to enter a person's body. I seriously doubt if any of us reading this believe anything of that sort. But what is going on with blessing? Reverend Seth frequently ends our services with “Go and be blessed and be a blessing.” A hasty scan through our UU Worship Web reveal that contributors to that site have written blessings for risk-takers and failures, those divorced or separated, meals, houses, new church buildings, justice builders, the sky, new drivers, playgrounds, teachers’ hands, all living things, “life and the end of life,” bicycles, bodies, the world, and backpacks, among others. Most of humankind’s religious and spiritual traditions engage in some form of blessing. The daily cycle of blessings that Orthodox Jewish men say is among the most detailed and extensive. [Women are exempt from most of these out of concern that doing so would be a burden when added to their child-care responsibilities.] Among the ritual blessings incumbent upon Jewish men are those upon awakening
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Redefining Blessing

Christie WilliamsPosted in Articles, Joel Articles
I suspect that the idea of blessing may be one that some UUs struggle with theologically. As Unitarian Universalists, we have in some ways moved very far away from our Christian heritage and in some others we have not. For instance, our model of religious education, our polity, and our order of service are little different from the Universalism or Unitarianism from which we inherited them. Yet in other ways we have significantly redefined some of our inheritance. For example, while we inherited the concept of worship from Christianity, we have redirected it and changed its connotation, bringing it closer to its original meaning. The word worship comes from the Old English word weorþscipe (or worth-ship), meaning worthiness, or the honor shown to an object. At its most basic, then, worship simply means giving worth to something. In Christianity that object is obviously god. That association is what causes some UUs to struggle with use of the word. However, in Unitarian Universalism we have collectively redirected that which has worthiness to humanity, our community, and our congregations. We believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person, as our First Principle articulates. Individual UUs may wish to honor additional things or beings that suit their own theology. But together we have returned worship more to its original meaning to honor something, without necessarily any supernatural connotations. Similarly, we have redefined theology, church, hymn, covenant, and our approach to religious writings to better fit Unitarian Universalism and our plural theology. The same is true for the
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Labeling, Cognitive Dissonance, and the Risk of Identity Theft

Julia Corbett-HemeyerPosted in Articles, Rev. Julia Articles
I’ve been thinking a lot about risk lately. A lot more than I would have chosen, had life given me that choice. But it didn’t. Instead, life presented me with another set of choices. I’ve always been very active, and particularly enjoy walking, hiking and bicycling. As most of you are aware, I fell a couple of months ago and sustained a minor pelvic fracture. I was told in very stark terms while I was in the hospital that in the future I would need to substantially limit or modify what I do. It seems, according to what I was told, that I’m now in a category of people labeled the “medically frail elderly.” Clearly, there are risks associated both with allowing that label to define what I can do, and with not allowing it to do so. The risks of continuing to do what I’ve enjoyed doing for so long are obvious. Those I would incur by “accepting my fate” are more subtle. I can summarize them in one phrase: significant diminishment of my life. And of Tom’s and my shared life, because those are all things we enjoy together. What makes this of more than passing interest is our culture’s continuing propensity for labeling people, usually with labels that are inherently limiting. My experience in the hospital was truly horrid. [This occurred while we were in Florida; it does not pertain at all to IU Health Ball Memorial, with which I have had uniformly good experiences.] As I’ve tried to process
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Everyone’s a Risk-Taker

Christie WilliamsPosted in Articles, Joel Articles
Dictionaries usually define a risk in one of three ways: (1) dangers to our bodies or life, (2) the chance an investment may lose value, (3) or the perils within the terms of an insurance contract. When you think of the word risk, what do you think of? The first definition is what came to my mind first. I am guessing that one of these notions of a risk is what came to your mind too. After all, language reinforces culture and vice versa. The dictionary is reflecting what we culturally think and believe. But more than that, the dictionary definitions of risk also conveys what we value. We stand in awe of those people who embrace the risks associated with the first two definitions of risk. People who face physical risks to themselves to aid others, like first responders, certainly deserve our admiration and gratitude for their selflessness and public service. Our capitalist culture encourages us to stand in awe of venture capitalists who place their wealth at risk in emergent companies and somehow manage to turn it into greater wealth. In these public cases of risk, part of what makes the behavior admirable to us is not just the assumption of risk by these individuals. What also makes it admirable is their conquering of fear to embrace the risk. Many of us probably appreciate that not everyone can conquer their fear sufficiently to fight a fire or invest their life savings. And even if we did, we appreciate
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