There is a lot going on at UUCM right now, to dramatically understate the obvious. Some of us, I’m sure, see in what’s happening in our beloved congregation as a cause for hope, some a cause for discouragement. Some of us feel a heavy sense of sadness and grief, and some relief, expectation, perhaps even satisfaction. All those feelings and more engage in an ever-changing dance within our hearts and minds. Too, what’s happening here plays out alongside what is occurring in all the other arenas of our lives—personal, familial, communal, the UUA as a denomination, national, global and environmental. It is a time of upheaval on many levels.

We are in a very conflicted situation in the face of this, and people have taken sides. And that’s only natural. We are a diverse people, and we cherish both our diversity and our opinions. Some people want to force Rev. Seth out within a three-month time frame. Others accept his resignation as of August 1, 2020. Those two sides have become polarized. There is a better way than conflict.

There is a larger focus, a wider angle that I hope we can all embrace. Rather than focusing on “what I want,” can we focus on “what’s best for our church”? Can we look past our own hurts and dissatisfactions, past the rumors and half-truths, and ask “how can we restore our UUCM congregation to a healthier state?” Can we learn new ways of relating to each other and communicating? Can we extend to each other forgiveness, grace, and forbearance? Can we embrace our diversity while at the same time concentrating on living in harmony with each other? We will not agree on everything. Recognizing and accepting that is a good starting point.

We can disagree, however, without allowing ourselves to become “factionalized” (if there is such a word). That is a challenging task, but one that I am sure we can do, because that’s who we are. We do not have to agree, and we will not. But we must commit to being civil even as we disagree. Doing so is the only way to move forward with the work our Board of Trustees has called us to do:  “to heal the rift that has developed within our church and rebuild the strong community that we all love” and to  “work to hear each other and to build bridges.”

I’ve reminded us of the centrality of our First Principle several times recently, and I will continue to do so because it’s important. We must be more than just civil. Because that’s who we are. Even as we differ and challenge each other, and yes, argue and sometimes hurt each other, we must hold unwaveringly to our affirmation that each and every one of us is a person of inherent worth and dignity. No exceptions, no exclusions. No “yes, buts.” The congregation, the Board, Rev. Seth, his supporters and detractors, the rest of the staff. And we must do the hard work of calling each other out when we fail on this but do so in the spirit of building up rather than of tearing down.

I’ve asked more questions in this column than I have proposed answers; in the first place, I certainly don’t have all the answers, and second, each of us will arrive at our own answers over time. The questions, however, are worth considering:

• Can we ask not only what’s wrong but also what’s possible?
• How can we start the conversations that matter, that will work toward the good of the entire congregation?
• Can we be intrigued rather than put off by our differences? Can we approach them with an attitude of friendly curiosity?
• Can we hold our own opinions more lightly, with an open palm rather than a tightly closed fist?
• Can we stay together in community and embrace our shared humanity?
• Can we trust the yet unknown future?
• Can we stay with the process?

Perhaps most important, can we hold in the forefront of our minds and hearts that we all want the same thing: We want to be the best church we can be, so that we can continue to be an outspoken and coherent voice for progressive, inclusive religion in our city and the region, just as we have been doing since 1859. I believe we want to be a church that is a force for positive, progressive social action. I firmly believe as well that we want to become a community in which all persons feel welcome, valued, and safe, a community of acceptance and compassion. We will differ on exactly what this looks like and how to go about it. But I truly believe that we are unified in our commitment to these goals, because that’s who we are.

We are indeed facing a time of transition and ending, but also of new beginnings. T.S. Eliot said it best near the conclusion of his The Four Quartets:

What we call the beginning is often the end

and to make an end is to make a beginning.

The end is where we start from….

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Come, let us explore together.

Rev. Julia